It’s the beginning of the year and many of us started it off by making New Year’s resolutions to better ourselves: to get a promotion at work, to read more, to be more productive, to work out more, and so on. In the midst of pushing ourselves, let’s take a moment to acknowledge another important thing we should be focusing on: our mental and emotional well-being. Without paying attention to our well-being, it’s easy to become burned out in our pursuit of self-betterment, so let’s make it a point to give ourselves more love this 2020!
To get some ideas on how self-care rituals can look like, we asked a few members of TFM’s Alumni community what they do to nourish themselves mentally, emotionally, or even spiritually. Here are some of the responses that we got:
Ever since being a mother, I noticed that it is hard to balance between taking care of my family, daughter and myself especially during the first year of motherhood. My child’s needs become my main priority. However, as the years go by, I learn that it is important to first know how to take care of myself before anyone else as it is true that our child (even students) will be affected by how we feel about ourselves. So, I start to reconnect with circle of friends, get back to my hobbies, putting on heels, running and kickstarting a business that I am passionate about. And this shall be an ongoing process, to continue loving and choosing the things that make me happy – so that my child is happy too ❤
Tan Kai Lee ’12
I make sure to start my day with prayers. The wee hours of the morning are good for quiet contemplation and reflection. Besides that, it’s a bit hard to find time for self-care when you’re balancing time between a 9-7 job, an almost three year old toddler, a very loving wife, and household chores!
Wan Muhamad Nazhif Bin Wan Yusoff ’13
One of the biggest things I do for self care is to practice gratitude as much as possible, daily. This is especially fundamental on bad days, because it is on those days that it becomes necessary to find things to be thankful for. This is important to keep a balanced perspective on the bigger picture and try not to sweat the small stuff. I do my best to choose a positive response when in light of a negative situation. Also I limit my social media consumption 😉 It helps to cut out unnecessary noise, comparison and FOMO!
Carmen Looi ’14
I’m probably the worst when it comes to self-care. I do not take care of myself as I should and work always take priority. Recently, I found myself rather ill and needed my mother to tend to me. It was during that period when I realized (again) that there are few things in life that truly matter and those things take priority. Not work. At least, not all the time. I try to consciously put these things that matter (my mum, sister, health) at the forefront of my mind so that I don’t drive myself to insanity. The hope is to maintain this perspective!
Claudia Nisha Anthony ’14
In the space of mental health, ensuring that I get enough rest daily definitely helps position myself in a better place. As cliché as it could get, certain cornerstone habits (such as getting adequate quality sleep, consistent exercise, and keeping oneself hydrated) did help me to brace myself for the daily mental challenges. At least, I know for a fact that not getting those done properly has an adverse effect on me.
Johanan Wong ’15
I sometimes attempt the occasional social media detox (e.g. deactivating Instagram and Facebook) whenever I find myself spending too much time on it, and would try to substitute the time I spend scrolling with other activities that I find to be more valuable (such as reading, or dropping a text message to a friend). Personally, I find being off social media helps in being more present in the moment, which then helps me to better appreciate little in-between moments.
When we talk about self care, often times we think about taking good care of ourselves physically and mentally. However, emotional care is the least mentioned by others. One of the things I learnt in emotional self care is embracing all of our emotions and learning to interpret them.
Lim Mei Jin ’16
When emotions become too intense, some may choose to shut down or turn away. However, this is where you can tap into your emotion. You can draw the boundaries on what you can or can’t do to regulate yourself in this moment, or simply repeat some reinforcing statements. When you are feeling calm, you can then look at things objectively. This is where you can decide what the sensation meant to you and how you would like to make use of this sensation to make things better. We are going to feel things, because we are human.
Other than trying to consistently understand my emotions, I also meditate in the garden once a week!
I used to be someone who gave my all to the people that I love; my family, my friends and my students. I was ashamed to admit that sometimes it drains all the energy out of me because putting someone first before you is draining — ashamed because does that mean that I don’t love them that much? However, I discovered the quote “You can’t pour from an empty cup” which changed my perspective on how I see things. As selfish as it may sound, you have to put yourself first before someone else, because how are you supposed to give when there is nothing left to give? It is counterproductive. My idea of self-care is not just putting on facial mask and scented candle, but so much more than that. Cutting out people who bring me negative energy, surrounding myself with people who are kind and high-spirited, and once in a while indulging in some retail therapy are all ways I take care of myself now!
Zainab Afiqah Mohamad Rom ’18
Self-care can seem like a buzzword, and it’s definitely not easy in this day and age where we are not only busy, but more connected to the outside world than ever. At the core of it though, self-care is simply finding peace within yourself through the little things that make you happy, so that you don’t fall into a pit of despair from the routines of adult life. Of course, it can also be as simple as taking care of your health in all aspects. Most (if not all) of us have experienced burnout and exhaustion at some point during the Fellowship, and it’s a very unpleasant experience that we should aim to minimise (or eradicate) regardless of what industry/job we are in now.
If you are unsure on how to begin your self-care journey, whether for your physical body, mental health, or emotional well-being, here are some resources that can start you off:
- This post with simple things you can do for self-care – https://tinybuddha.com/blog/45-simple-self-care-practices-for-a-healthy-mind-body-and-soul/
- This article that explains what self-care is and isn’t – https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-self-care-is-and-what-it-isnt-2/
- RELATE Therapy – An option if you want to explore therapy sessions but at a discounted rate. Sessions are conducted through video chat online. Learn more at their website – https://relate.com.my/
- This TED Talk playlist in case you’re more of an auditory learner – https://www.ted.com/playlists/299/the_importance_of_self_care
As we propel further into the year, here’s to happier bodies, minds and souls within the TFM Alumni community! May we remember to be kind to ourselves just as much as we are kind to others around us 🙂
© Jan 2020 – Hamsaveni ’15
Teach For Malaysia Alumni Network 